I've been swimming under water for 20 weeks, there have been moments where I've been able to come up for air but nothing like the air I received yesterday.
My U/S was originally at 2:30pm thank the lord that my midwife also scheduled my regular apt that same day in the same clinic which inspired me to call to see if there was any way they could get the apts closer together. They changed my apt to 9am and I was on cloud 9 that basically after Thursday all I would have to do is wake up, get ready and go to the u/s.
I've thought about this day many times, I pictured myself very teary eyed and emotional even before they called my name to go back. I imagined not looking until they told me everything looked fine. I imagined all the ultrasounds that I've seen on blogs and websites of unhealthy babies, making it 10 times easier for me to spot a problem even before they told me. It was nothing like that. Just before we walked in the room we joked how we felt it was a girl, but were hoping for a joy stick and the u/s began.
I didn't see the big black dot which was on Vayden's u/s that made it very clear he had LUTO. I also saw lots of lovely fluid around the baby which made me happy. The u/s tech is pointing out different body parts and says there are the kidneys and the bladder......and I say "what? what's wrong with them?" lol she says "they are there". I lay back and realize that I should just stop talking and let her finish her job. The baby was super active, very funny as it would stick it's tongue out every now and then at the camera. She scrolls down to look at the legs and feet and there we saw........A JOYSTICK. All together it seemed like we said "oh it's a boy", lol. My smile became HUGE to the news of a boy. I never really said it to many people but if I really had to pick I wanted a boy.
The u/s tech finishes looking at everything and they aren't allowed to say much but to us everything looked fine, she says "ok the dr. will be in to see you in a bit" my heart dropped.......I was thinking OMG what is wrong? As you know I am being seen with the same group that took care of me with Vayden, so the techs and nurses are coming in to give me hugs and congratulate me on the fact that this baby had no bladder problems. When the room settled I looked at V$ and said "there is something wrong, IDK what it is but it's something" he asked why did I think that. "I said if he was fine than why would she have me all exposed still with this stuff on my belly?" V$ told me it's not time to think negative thoughts from what we see the baby looks fine, we're going to go with that. I wait for a few more mins and Dr. R comes in. He says " You may not remember me, but I was there when your son Vayden was born" we thanked him for the wonderful care and support they offered us during that time and then he said "this baby is "perfect" I don't see anything wrong with anything and there is no need for you to come back to the diagnostic center.
And that's when I became emotional, even with Vashon I had about 13 u/s and with Vayden I had about 30. But with this baby I've had 3. Nothing is wrong, not a slight swollen kidney, not a heart murmur, he's 100% healthy, weighs 14oz and is probably going to be a little bigger than his other brothers. We thanked him and he said we were free to leave. God is good, he is so good. He kept his promise to us, he walked us through the storm, we stayed faithful and now we are delighted in his gifts. I went out to speak with the staff and thank them and that's when I got even more emotional, they turned into my family for so long while I was pregnant with Vayden and even after and it was a bitter sweet goodbye. Happy to not have to see them so often under negative circumstances but sad that I was leaving such wonderful people, who took such great care of me and Vayden.
The real deal on the boy news. A few people were so in shock and disbelief that we were having another boy they asked how many times did they checked, they wanted to know if they were sure sure. Some even asked me how I felt about it...... I guess they have not read many of my post or maybe they don't know me well enough, but I'm happy. I really do think God gives your family what is best for you and whether it's one of each, all boys, or all girls, it really doesn't matter as long as they are happy and healthy. Those of you who read my gender post know that all the cards pointed to me having a girl so much I had to wrap my mind around the idea, and although I would have been happy, I think a lot of other people would have been happier. lol
Is there anything that makes me sad about having another boy? Yes, that Vashon and VJS3 have that missing link between them, which is Vayden. But rest assure that he will be with them both spiritually and that each of them will always say I have "two brothers" and I will always say I have 3 sons.
Thoughts on missing out on having a daughter? There is only one thing that I guess I've missed out on, my grandmother made me a pink strawberry shortcake blanket when I was a baby. I would have liked to give that to my daughter, but that's it.
The way I look at this never having a daughter thing is simple. I have 3 sons 2 of which can probably give me grand kids, that means I have a higher chance in having a granddaughter than a daughter. So I get to take her shopping, do her nails, play with her hair and all that girly stuff that I guess I'm missing out on now. But then when she gets that DIVA tude and becomes super boy crazy I get to send her home. The best of both worlds. Now I'm a pregnant woman that looks forward to being a grandmother, how about that. lol
I want to thank everyone who has kept us in your prayers, now we just wait until December. YAY!!!