Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Ultrasound Experience

I've been swimming under water for 20 weeks, there have been moments where I've been able to come up for air but nothing like the air I received yesterday.

My U/S was originally at 2:30pm thank the lord that my midwife also scheduled my regular apt that same day in the same clinic which inspired me to call to see if there was any way they could get the apts closer together. They changed my apt to 9am and I was on cloud 9 that basically after Thursday all I would have to do is wake up, get ready and go to the u/s.

I've thought about this day many times, I pictured myself very teary eyed and emotional even before they called my name to go back. I imagined not looking until they told me everything looked fine. I imagined all the ultrasounds that I've seen on blogs and websites of unhealthy babies, making it 10 times easier for me to spot a problem even before they told me. It was nothing like that. Just before we walked in the room we joked how we felt it was a girl, but were hoping for a joy stick and the u/s began.

I didn't see the big black dot which was on Vayden's u/s that made it very clear he had LUTO. I also saw lots of lovely fluid around the baby which made me happy. The u/s tech is pointing out different body parts and says there are the kidneys and the bladder......and I say "what? what's wrong with them?" lol she says "they are there". I lay back and realize that I should just stop talking and let her finish her job. The baby was super active, very funny as it would stick it's tongue out every now and then at the camera. She scrolls down to look at the legs and feet and there we saw........A JOYSTICK. All together it seemed like we said "oh it's a boy", lol. My smile became HUGE to the news of a boy. I never really said it to many people but if I really had to pick I wanted a boy.

The u/s tech finishes looking at everything and they aren't allowed to say much but to us everything looked fine, she says "ok the dr. will be in to see you in a bit" my heart dropped.......I was thinking OMG what is wrong? As you know I am being seen with the same group that took care of me with Vayden, so the techs and nurses are coming in to give me hugs and congratulate me on the fact that this baby had no bladder problems. When the room settled I looked at V$ and said "there is something wrong, IDK what it is but it's something" he asked why did I think that. "I said if he was fine than why would she have me all exposed still with this stuff on my belly?" V$ told me it's not time to think negative thoughts from what we see the baby looks fine, we're going to go with that. I wait for a few more mins and Dr. R comes in. He says " You may not remember me, but I was there when your son Vayden was born" we thanked him for the wonderful care and support they offered us during that time and then he said "this baby is "perfect" I don't see anything wrong with anything and there is no need for you to come back to the diagnostic center.

And that's when I became emotional, even with Vashon I had about 13 u/s and with Vayden I had about 30. But with this baby I've had 3. Nothing is wrong, not a slight swollen kidney, not a heart murmur, he's 100% healthy, weighs 14oz and is probably going to be a little bigger than his other brothers. We thanked him and he said we were free to leave. God is good, he is so good. He kept his promise to us, he walked us through the storm, we stayed faithful and now we are delighted in his gifts. I went out to speak with the staff and thank them and that's when I got even more emotional, they turned into my family for so long while I was pregnant with Vayden and even after and it was a bitter sweet goodbye. Happy to not have to see them so often under negative circumstances but sad that I was leaving such wonderful people, who took such great care of me and Vayden.

The real deal on the boy news. A few people were so in shock and disbelief that we were having another boy they asked how many times did they checked, they wanted to know if they were sure sure. Some even asked me how I felt about it...... I guess they have not read many of my post or maybe they don't know me well enough, but I'm happy. I really do think God gives your family what is best for you and whether it's one of each, all boys, or all girls, it really doesn't matter as long as they are happy and healthy. Those of you who read my gender post know that all the cards pointed to me having a girl so much I had to wrap my mind around the idea, and although I would have been happy, I think a lot of other people would have been happier. lol

Is there anything that makes me sad about having another boy? Yes, that Vashon and VJS3 have that missing link between them, which is Vayden. But rest assure that he will be with them both spiritually and that each of them will always say I have "two brothers" and I will always say I have 3 sons.

Thoughts on missing out on having a daughter? There is only one thing that I guess I've missed out on, my grandmother made me a pink strawberry shortcake blanket when I was a baby. I would have liked to give that to my daughter, but that's it.

The way I look at this never having a daughter thing is simple. I have 3 sons 2 of which can probably give me grand kids, that means I have a higher chance in having a granddaughter than a daughter. So I get to take her shopping, do her nails, play with her hair and all that girly stuff that I guess I'm missing out on now. But then when she gets that DIVA tude and becomes super boy crazy I get to send her home. The best of both worlds. Now I'm a pregnant woman that looks forward to being a grandmother, how about that. lol

I want to thank everyone who has kept us in your prayers, now we just wait until December. YAY!!!

Friday, July 30, 2010

And the Gender Results Are......

Sometimes you feel, like a nut, sometimes you don't........Almond Joy's have nuts....and so does my baby it's a boy :)

I'll post u/s pics and the u/s experience later. Thanks for waiting for those of you who had to wait.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fun at the Zoo -July

Today me and my friend Stephanie took our kids to the zoo. We had to leave at 9am which is not even out of bed but with the temps getting up near 100 the earlier we got out there the better chance we had at not dying of heat stroke.

The animals were actually out today and this was Vashon's first time really seeing the lions. We even got to see a lil lioness fight between what was said to be mother and daughter. lol
All ready with his shades, binoculars and animal cookies. Doesn't seem right that we give our kids animal cookies to eat at the zoo. lol

This is my fav pic and moment at the zoo. I didn't even know this zoo had bears and they were also out today and Vashon wanted to get an up close view of them through his binoculars.

The bears were so cool

Me and Vashon looking at the bears (there's my baby bump)

Vashon and the only male friends he has. lol

The kids were so hot so they cooled down with a lil mist

Vashon and his lil buddy looking at the map of the children's zoo.
We had a great time and even though it was hot it was worth the fun and the calorie burn.

Thoughts on the BIG ultrasound

So we're down to less than 17 hours before we go in to see the Jelly Bean again. Possibly less than 17 hours before the Jelly Bean turns into a he or she, and less than 17 hours before I can finally stop holding my breath like I'm swimming under water.

That's what I've been doing this past 20 weeks swimming under water holding my breath. I've had days where I've been full of faith and I've had days where my faith has lacked. I've had normal pregnant woman thoughts and I've had thoughts of a mother who has already lost a baby and can't imagine doing it again. Overall I've been doing well with this pregnancy and my normal days outweigh the days I worry. I've been happy, healthy and I have an amazing pregnancy glow that I'm sure I didn't have while pregnant with Vayden.

In hindsight when I think about my pregnancy with Vayden vs the pregnancy with Vashon and this baby, I knew something was wrong. I didn't know how wrong but I knew something. I worried about him from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I think I always knew something was up. I don't have those feelings with this baby, when I find myself worried it's more over protecting this baby from all the winter illnesses that are harmful to young infants.

I've been reminding myself more now that with Vayden I was the minority, things like this don't happen to most families. In my line of work it's hard to remember that fact because it's all you hear about, but in reality infant loss families are the minorities and a new pregnancy has a better chance at being the majority, healthy mommies with healthy babies that go home and live healthy lives.

Any last thoughts or guesses on the gender?

hmm, I'm a little on the fence, my gut still says girl, but my photographs say boy. I look GREAT !! I am crabby which would say girl. lol One thing that I did notice is that this pregnancy has been very easy on me. I have reason to believe that boys cause you drama in the womb and girls give you hell once their out. Let me share:

Vashon - Bled for no reason at 13 wks (reason still unknown), 28 or 29 wks went to the ER with a horrible painful would not go away migraine headache. 33 wks for no reason he just stopped growing and my labor had to be induced at 35 wks. (Problem Child)

Vayden - Early on would not let me eat jalapeno peppers despite my intense craving for them, it wasn't a normal morning sickness it was almost like an intolerance for them. 16 weeks went to the ER with a horrible painful wouldn't go away migraine headache. 18 wks started intervention and between the 4 weeks of that he moved in unsafe spots, pulled on the needles and wouldn't sit still to allow proper measurements. (Problem Child)

So far in this pregnancy i've made it past 13 wks with no bleeding, 16 weeks with no headaches and although I have aversions to foods I don't end up on the toilet for 20 mins. So if I am having a girl know that I said this. Boys give you problems in the womb, girls wait until their out.

Overall I'm keeping high hopes that we go in and find out that everything with the baby looks great and we have a happy healthy baby. I will post the gender news soon.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Halfway....... 20 Weeks Pregnant

I'm halfway through my pregnancy and if I follow the rules of my previous pregnancies than I probably only have about 15 weeks left before this baby wants to move out. lol I'm hoping to carry this baby at least to 37 weeks if not longer, so at 35 weeks even if they don't put me on bed rest, i'm putting myself on.

Here is my pregnancy update for week 20

How far along? 20 weeks

Total weight gain? I'm going to make a guess that i'm up 10-11 lbs by now, i'll change it on Friday once I know for sure. I'd be really shocked if I am any less than that. lol

Maternity Clothes? Yes and No, I hate buying mat. clothes, not because they aren't cute but because this is our last baby, so they will get no further use from me. I buy something if I need it but I don't have a full wardrobe, I'm making the clothes I have work with the help of rubber bands and a bella band.

Stretch Marks? Does it count if you cant see them in photographs? I don't have any new ones.

Best Moment this week? I got to see my belly do a lil quick dance.....there is really someone in there.

Food Cravings? I've given up my love for Cream of Wheat and I now eat Oatmeal on a daily basis. I LOVE it and have gone through 2 of these big tubs (which makes about 30 bowls) in 1 month.

I also have a serious LOVE for cereal which I've always had, even pre pregnancy although I was controlled enough to not need 6-8 boxes a month. Yea I can go through about 2 boxes of cereal a week. V$ is tired of bringing milk home every 3 days. :) My kitchen almost looks like a grocery cereal isle.

Food Aversions? I can eat meat now, it's not my fav still but I can eat some meats, but I hate chicken, in almost all forms. It looks gross, it smells gross and I want nothing to do with it. I also still hate broccoli.

20 week glamour shot - I don't mean to be vain but i'm such a cute preggo. :)

Movement? Yep I feel the lil jelly bean all the time and this baby loves when I eat because that's how I can get him or her to move.

Gender? Unknown still, some ppl that voted boy on my gender game are changing their votes to girl, reason being....."just a hunch" and my cousin called told V$ she had a dream that I was having a girl because she was going her hair....I at least hope she had a decent grade of hair. lol If you haven't read Old Wives Tales and Gender Prediction Fun you should.

Labor Signs? None

Weekly Wisdom? Remember that hoping for a specific gender is fine, but God gives each family what is perfect for them.


Congratulations-you're almost halfway there! Celebrate by talking to your baby; she can hear you now. Weighing in at about 9 ounces (.25 kg) and measuring over 6 inches (15 cm) long, your baby is aware of all kinds of sounds, from the beating of your heart and growling of your tummy, to songs on the radio and the buzzing of your alarm clock. If you feel a "bounce" in your tummy when you hear a loud noise, it's because your baby hears it, too! This is the start of your baby's active phase. You'll feel every twist, turn, and wiggle. You may also hear your baby's heartbeat through a stethoscope, and it's probably faster than you expect--120 to 160 beats per minute.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Are we real parents now??

I know even while pregnant with Vashon I had to take different steps in keeping him safe and what not. When he was born we became real parents but things measure out to be hard at different levels as a child grows. Vashon is 3 yrs old now and I just noticed in these last few months, that we have to change the level in which we parent him and we have to prepare for the upcoming years....

Vashon used to keep us up at night for feedings and diaper changes, then he became a good sleeper and now we're up at night fighting monsters in his room.

Questions!!! Boy oh BOY, I had no idea that while I was pressuring him to talk, talk, talk, that I would create a question asking monster. lol The sad thing is I can't not answer him, he's at a rapid learning stage in his development and refusing to answer his many many questions would be like not taking him to school.

We have to watch what we say and do around our son now. It's very clear that he speaks and even more clear that he understands emotions. He can now tell us when we're happy, mad, or sad, which means he can say bad words or wrong phrases. So being careful with the things that we say and do is now a must. I've even noticed now we have to monitor the things we watch when he's around.

The great DEBATE over anything and everything, it's hard now because he's still so cute so, when he says "but I can't want to go to bed" or " Dashon can't eat that" you want to just say aww how cute, and cave. The hard part is knowing that if we teach him to win debates quick and fast he will never understand the rules we've set up for him.

This is my kind of discipline, lol Just kidding. But it's gotta change now, like I said in the how were you raised post. The things you do and the way you handle them can make your child grow up to say " I will never treat my kids like my parents treated me" or "my parents were strict, but they did it because they loved me".

This is how we have to discipline him now. Punish him, explain to him, and let him know it's out of love and not anger.

The ouchies and the band aids, he's a big boy now and if I keep carrying him up the stairs or stopping him when he runs too fast at the playground he'll never be prepared for that first real bruise or bump. I'm terribly afraid of that first broken bone or black eye, but Vashon is ALL BOY and I know in due time we'll have our fair share of trips to the urgent care.
So me and V$ talked last night and we both agreed that we need to make some changes to our lifestyles and habits in order for our child to have the best life or learning right from wrong the right way. No more do as I say, not as I do.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Keep us in your prayers on 7/30

It's not just about gender, when it comes to the anatomy scan.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I'm One of Those Moms

My kids are going to hate me when they grow up, but I surely have an album of laughs. Someone once told me that even when they do something bad, take a picture of it because most of the time small kids don't know that what they did was wrong or funny. Here is a sneak peak into all the silly things about Vashon. Be sure to read the captions they make the photo that much funnier.
Looks like a lil kid helping out while washing the car.....too bad we weren't washing the car that day. lol

Enjoying a nice snack in the laundry basket

Vashon thought that all the diamonds needed color so he took a crayon to the kitchen floor, this is a photo of him cleaning up his mess. (it was so hard not to laugh)

While I shop he pushes the cart (12 mo old)

What the heck is on your head??? oh that's your hair...right before his daddy finally cut it off.

I told Vashon poop goes in the potty, so he put his diaper in the toilet.

We fought and fought, but he won. Vashon wearing two pairs of pj pants.

Asleep on the floor with brother bear. Vashon put the cover over brother bear then himself and went to sleep. How cute.

We didn't even pose him this way. lol

At 1130pm I caught Vashon reading a bedtime story to his daddy...V$ was asleep already. lol

At my parents house we left Vashon alone in his room for 20 min and this is what he did..Yea and he was naked.

Painting with pudding, he had a blast. it my turn yet, mommy????

Caught him in the bathroom at his NeNe's house guess he used too much tissue. lol

Looks just like V$

LOL, Vashon fell in the empty ice cooler.

Fell in the box at my job.

He's so brave (2yr)

But mom I hate this car seat

Gangsta Babies

Mom I got my foot stuck

Why thank you Vashon, my coffee needed army men to add some flavor

His wild and crazy hair

I went upstairs to get more clothes for the donation box, and when I came down, I found this....


Vashon got into the Vaseline. lmao

It's boots the monkey

Left alone with a new pack of diapers, gee thanks Vashon

Hmm, wonder who did this??

WOW my earring covered in Vaseline.
My son is so silly, no one ever told me that being a parent would consist of this, but i'm so glad I was able to capture these moments to show his future wife. lol