Monday, July 12, 2010

How were you raised

I grew up in a blue collar family, I lived with my mom and dad (my real mom and dad) and my older brother. In the beginning we lived in apartments, but by age 6 we were renting a nice house next door to my maternal grandparents. There's little divorce in our family and most of the children even if created out of wedlock live with their mom and dad.

Hubby however was the opposite, I will not go into further detail.

Does how you were raised, disciplined and educated matter when you have your own kids? Hell yea it does. If you felt you raised right then you will want to raise your children the same. If you felt you were raised wrong, you may be more inclined to change the past with your present. But if you don't know any better and you look at life as "just making it" you will find that at times you default to the only thing you know........what ever you had. And you will say "it happened to me and I'm made it".

I don't know the right or wrong way to discipline my own child. I know what worked for me, hubby knows what worked for him, but how do we meet in the middle of our different ways of being raised.

TRAIL and ERROR but how much error until you realize what worked for you wont work for your child?


Were you hit? I was, but I believe I was hit within reason, I was told why I was hit, and although painful...the lesson was clear. I don't remember at what age my parents started to hit although my mother says I was about 2. Sound young but the level of the spankings changed with age.

Hubby claims he was hit although his mother says he was a good kid that learned the lessons of his siblings early on and was only hit a handful of times. Either way growing up where and how he did, I'm sure he witnessed borderline a$$ beatings.

Do you want to hit your children? I believe that spankings within reason at reasonable force are a good thing, but the age of the child, the crime committed and underlying issue also need to be considered. Of course with my children I would probably try to argue my childs case out of many spankings but I still believe that those things should be considered.

Now that Vashon is getting older, V$ and I have to start being real parents, he's able to repeat anything we say, and understand most of it. He reads body language and can tell when something is wrong and call us on it. We have to sit down and have a grown up talk about these things, because there's only so much Trail and Error before you turn your child in a parent that says " I will not treat my kids as my parents treated me".

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