Everyday....

Everyday I wake up and tell myself I'm going to be a better mommy than the day before. I tell myself things like "you got a full nights sleep, you're going to go have a wonderful breakfast and plan a full day of activities for your son". But...........

I assume that everyday Vashon wakes up and says to himself......."how can I push mommy's button today?"

Everyday me and Vashon seem to get into some type of battle with each other. Everyday he asks me the same 3 questions 50 times, and everyday I answer him. Everyday he says he's not going to take a nap, or wont eat what I've given him and everyday I tell him that he is not the parent and I'm in charge. Everyday I ask him to clean up his toys and everyday he acts like he doesn't know how to. At least once everyday I find myself in my room counting to 10 and some days to 20. Then everyday he tells me he loves me and seems to forgive me for yelling or walking away from him.

V$ and I were watching The Back Up Plan last night, and there was scene where a father to be asked a father of 3 about being a parent, his response had me and V$ laughing for a few mins. He said " It's awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, and then in a moment something happens and it makes it all worth it, then it's awful, awful, awful, awful, then another moment happens to make it all worth it again...."

I hate to say it, but he speaks the truth. If given the choice to trade Vashon and have no moral backlash, I still wouldn't do it. I love him so much, but no one ever told me how hard it was to be a parent.