Friday, March 18, 2011

Since When Did Breastfeeding Become So Bad

I thought when I gave up breastfeeding before I even tried with Vashon that outsiders looking in would shake their heads at me in shame. But who would have thought it would be the other way around. Although people are not disappointed that I've chosen to breastfeed Varen I do think their jealous and been getting unsolicited advice and/or comments.

Many of you know I wanted success in breastfeeding just as much as I wanted a successful pregnancy and delivery. This was very important to me and I put myself out there asking numerous amounts of questions and reading anything and everything I could find. I took classes and prepared myself for the good, the bad and the ugly but I never thought I would have to prepare for the ugly things that people were going to say.

"He only wants you, because I don't have breast"

"You have that baby spoiled, you're always holding him" (umm I'm always feeding him)

" He's so FAT"

"He's overweight"

"he could stand to drink some water"

"What are you eating?"

"What? Nursing on Demand! That's why he so damn big"

"You're going to roll over your baby, while you're sleeping with him"

"you love him more than your other son because you didn't breastfeed him"

"This baby is HUGE"

"You're feeding him AGAIN"

Is my baby really BIG or is he just BIG to you? It's funny because almost EVERYONE that has something negative to say about Varen's size either didn't breastfeed or was not breastfed. Let me first start by saying that Vashon was tiny 4 lbs 14oz at birth and dropped to 4lb 6oz by the time we went home. He being my first set the mold I guess for what a normal baby is supposed to look like. But lets be real, a 4 lb baby is not normal and what everyone seems to forget is how often they made comments about how "small" Vashon was. But I guess in a world that is so fearful of obesity being a skinny baby is the better of the two.

Varen is NOT HUGE, he is a healthy baby at 17 weeks of age weighs roughly 16 lbs give or take a few oz. (when I weighed him at home this morning the total came to 15 lbs 4oz) Yes he's doubled his birth weight already but that's what he's supposed to do. He's happy and healthy and he is 100% breastfed. No water, no cereal, no food, no juice.

So why the harsh and complex building comments. I don't mind people calling him a chubby baby, he is a chubby baby, but when you walk into the world of saying my son is overweight, needs a diet or maybe I should space out and time his feedings I feel personally offended. The worst thing a person can do is tell a mother they are doing something wrong with their child. Varen doesn't just eat all day but it may seem like it, because I nurse on demand and he snacks. He takes bottles only when I'm away from him which is not very often and the amount doesn't exceed 3 oz.

It's been said that breastfed babies grow rapidly in the first 3-4 months then slow down and by a year are mostly leaner than formula fed babies.

I was told to nurse on demand until I started solids and then starting solids would create somewhat of an eating schedule. It is hard and rare that a breastfed baby, baby on breast will be overfed. Despite what all you naysayers thinks babies know when they are done and they can also change their sucking to switch from nursing or just sucking for comfort. I'm fine with Varen using me as a pacifier.

Yes I bed share and yes there is a possibility in me rolling on my baby, just as there is a possibility in me sitting on him, forgetting him in the car, or in a basket at the grocery store. These a risk I take as a mother and to tell you the truth and most mothers that bed share will say the same. When sleeping in the bed with your child you are NEVER 100% fully sleep. I often tell people that I get 7-8 hours of rest which in my opinion is the equivalent to a new mothers 3 hours of sleep.

But overall Varen is happy, he is healthy, he is chubby but with the older brother that he has I guarantee that once he starts moving he will be as lean as Vashon.

I am not going to put my 4 month old on a diet, I am going to continue to nurse on demand and I am also going to enjoy every single moment with my baby as a baby, because it does go by fast and while everyone else is so worried about sleep training and feeding schedules I'm more concerned with never missing a moment.


  1. He is just precious!! Babies are usually chubby! Breastfed babies can't be 'overfed".....Try to ignore them and keep doing what your doing.
    He is obviously very happy and healthy!! I can't believe he is this old already! Time is flying....

  2. He is clearly a very happy and healthy baby, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It makes me so angry reading about people saying these things!!! You cannot spoil a baby, and in my experience, it's only older/elderly people who say you can. He's beautiful, Steph. Hats off to you for doing what you do! xoxo

  3. He's so cute & healthy that's what matters. I don't care what people say it's my baby.
    He's happy & growing that's all that's important.

  4. I'm no stranger to the comments also. I am breastfeeding currently and have breastfed, on demand, and co-sleep/slept ALL of my babies. My oldest for 2 years. All healthy,plump, happy babies on momma's milk. Someone once told me about my daughter, "she's cute, but needs some SlimFast, though."
    Other peoples comments...ignorance is all it is.

  5. He is not overweight at all. People are either ignorant or just plan stupid. I BF on demand and partially cosleep. I love them both! Screw everyone who has anything negative to say. You are doing a great job momma!

  6. Hi! I somehow stumbled across your blog & I have to comment on this post. My son is 4mo right now, he is breastfed (on demand) exclusively except some baby food a few times a week. & he is 16lbs. People think he is a big fatty buthes only in the 69% for weight. I also cosleep every night after about 5am. I don't worry about a schedule because he knows when he is tired or hungry I let him be in control of his schedule, and it is so much less stressful! Girl your his momma you know what's best for him! Just keep your head held high!!


What are you thinking?????