Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Pregnancy After a Loss

May has been rough for me, I've probably shed a tear at least once a day. It's almost like May 23rd is going to reset the yr and I'm going to be replaying the 1st yr without Vayden over until May 23,2011. I wouldn't think a normal woman's 3rd pregnancy would be like this. The devil knocks so hard that you may not hear what he's trying to say but you surely know he's out there trying to get into your head, trying to break you.

This month has been crazy for me and my hormones. On Friday I was watching a baby story and a couple had lost a baby then were blessed with another one. They upset me because they said things like "I'm a Proud Daddy for the first time" and they called their new baby an angel. The baby they lost lived for something like 36 days and angels are babies like Vayden. I never thought I would be so offended by someone referring to their healthy baby as an angel, until I actually had my very own, but if your living baby in an angel then what is Vayden???

Forgive my hormones, my 1st appointment is on Thursday morning and I am very nervous, not sure what I'm nervous about, it's just nerves and as Vayden's 1st angelversary comes I just haven't really been myself lately. I'm sad a lot more these days, I get frustrated easier and I will get upset over small things. This is how it is for me my pregnancy after a loss.


  1. I agree, they don't have angels we have angels. Thinking of you and Vayden, hope that your apt goes well.

  2. I so agree , my angels are in Heaven.
    I'm praying hard for your appt Thursday. I remember my last pregnancy w/ Carly. It was terrible. I was such a pain , a basket case , always being worried. it was hard and rough. The fear I tried so hard , I knew God was in control but still I didn't want to lose again. At times I wondered how my family kept me , LOL Then of course things worked out. :)
    Thinking of you and praying so hard for you always. Your such a Awesome woman and friend.


  3. May is bound to be rough. Leading up to Carleigh's bday was tough on me. ((hug))

    I can't believe that the parents didn't really seem to acknowledge the child the lost. I could never imagine that but I guess that's how some people cope.

  4. congrats on your little one...praying for you and baby.


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